Saturday, December 20, 2008

2 Months Old, Nurse shouting "Cold White!"





A hospital in Amman last Thursday... late at night, I had chest pain and wanted to check it out. I sat down in a room to have my blood pressure checked when a nurse stormed into the room shouting "COLD WHITE" and holding a baby so small in size... so young... so tenderly wrapped in his bed sheets...

I stood up and the baby was placed in the bed I just sat on, I didn't know what to do... I stood there in complete shock... I was looking at his eyes, there was no movement whatsoever... he was looking at me, through me, rather in my direction but not at anything... I kept looking trying to find any sign of life... I didn't believe what I saw... I didn't want to believe it... he can't be dead... he is sooo young...

His eyes were so wide, but his skin was yellow and his lips almost blue... I cannot forget his wide eyes... "Sorry, Please leave the room" another nurse said.. "Of course, of course" as I was wearing my jacket...

Doctors rushed in... I never saw a hospital in Jordan like that before, 3 or 4 doctors came in seconds, nurses from here and there... It was the first time I saw an emergency room that actually worked on emergency basis...

They closed the door and I was left outside just beside the young confused father... The nurse asked, where is Abu "_____",

"Yes...", he answered....

"Is he your only child?"

"Yes..." almost cried.. "what is it? is he going to be alright?!?"

"How long has he been like this?"

"Almost an hour... he is a very calm baby most of the time..." eyes red looking in a million direction... "but this time it is different..."

"Did he suffer from vomiting?"

"Yes, we took him to his doctor and he said to change his milk... He said it didn't suite him and so we did..."

"After changing the milk, did the vomiting stop?"

"No... please tell me what is wrong..."

"we don't know yet... Inshallah kheir, twakkal 3ala allah".... "hopefully it will become better...have faith..."

I was examined, taken to X-Ray... I couldn't help asking the nurse that accompanied me about the baby... He was reluctant to answer... but showed extreme sympathy... "may God help him..." he muttered...


For the first time I couldn't help it, I was so curious and shocked... I wanted to know.... so I asked "there was no eye movement whatsoever?!"

He said: "that is not the problem.... the problem now is the lack of blood supply..." I didn't understand what he meant...



He saw it in my face and then he added "it looks like he is leaving this world... "

"All of this is just because of vomiting!?!" I asked

"A very slight fall can kill a man, it takes very small things to change our lives, or end it..." The nurse said with a very emotional tone... It sounded very true coming from a young man who seemed to have seen a lot...

Another first time for me, a nurse who is actually human and cares... He left me there to take my X-Ray and said goodbye...

When I went back, I saw the father again, so tense... time passed as we waited.. me for he X-Ray and him for any news about his only child a couple of months old...

He kept asking everyone that went out of the room, "please just tell me... Assure me..." The doctors and nurses only answered with gestures and begged his patience...

How can you tell a man his only child is lost... I thought to myself, what is he thinking exactly... does he realize how critical it is... His mind must be in denial... why not? I am in denial and I'm not even related to the baby... I saw doctors in and out... father so stressed... eyes red...

At one point he was about to loose it all, he almost yelled but couldn't " just tell me... IS THERE HOPE!" He is Not in denial... he knows how serious it is...

Other people join the father and a doctor comes out from the room and says...
"When your son came in, his heart was not working... we gave him medicine and now it is working but we are afraid that due to the lack of oxygen his brain might be affected... He cannot breath on his own now, so we've placed him on a breathing machine... He is in a very critical situation I hope you understand... We will have to keep an eye on him and see what happens... Anything can happen..."

I have no idea what the father was thinking at that moment, was he thinking of all the money he will pay... if he will end up with a retard after that.... was he thinking that his son will come back to life... I have no idea...

The mother was not there, she sat down in a different hall, by the pharmacy... She was completely wrecked... muttering to herself... most probably saying prayer after prayer as she sat down in tears...

I left the hospital, but I couldn't forget the look on that baby's face... I have seen dead people before... but never a two months old... I hope he will live and come back to a normal life... but the chances looked so slim...

I hope he comes back to life, I hope his father will not remember this sad night each time someone calls him by Abu "_____"... I hope his mother's pain for nine months will not be in vein... worse... pain to witness her first born's death...


I could not help remember all the babies that were buried in Palastine, Iraq, Afghanistan...


There are so many tragedies in life, we seem to forget how lucky we are for all the things we take for granted...

Wake up...

2 comments:

Dreamy Villager said...

I hope the baby is fine now ,too.
May Allah protect him and help his family.

M Kilany said...

Amen to that...